A part of the show I’ve been in, Mad Moose Mayhem 3 at Grande Prairie Live Theatre, there was a Slam Poetry segment. In the show introduction the audience was asked for a topic, then anyone in the cast who wanted to participate had to write a poem on that topic, to be read to the audience in the second act. The show was a variety show – skits, songs, dance, comedy, films.
I figured I would do it. None of my bits were on until the second act so I had plenty of time to come up with…. something!
There were six performance nights – but a lot of the cast did decide to participate so I didn’t actually get to read my poem to the audience every time – but I did write one each night! So here they are (with placings noted!)
September 12 – theme from audience: Potholes of Grande Prairie (I WON!)
Oh pothole, thou art more jarring that Gilbert Gottfried’s voice.
More of you appear every morn,
Making each drive to work oh so forlorn.
I wish I could find my sister’s VW Bug but she lost it in a pothole
by Canfor one year.
We really miss that car…
and my sister too.
September 13 – theme from audience: Jacked-Up Trucks (I WON!)
The neighbour’s bloody truck
Still sits in their backyard
Forever up on the blocks.
Long term project waits
for disposable income
Jacked-up dreams of glory.
Chrome, pinstripes, metal balls,
hemis, lift-kits, huge giant tires,
… Compensating Much?
September 14 – Theme from the audience: Outhouse (didn’t compete)
Childhood memories of cold dark nights
Holding it in to the point of paint
So I wouldn’t have to get dressed in a snowsuit
just to take it off in a tiny freezing shack.
The Sears catalogue was really rough.
The good thing about the cold was
that it didn’t smell… that much.
Ours wasn’t a hold in the ground
It was a large can that my mom
would have to emtpy as needed,
which was difficult when it was frozen.
My poor mom… she put up with a lot of shit.
September 19th – Audience theme: Moose Jerky (didn’t place)
Moose is Loose
Moose and Sqirrel
Chocolate Covered Bacon
September 20th – Audience theme: Smurfs (Second Place)
Evil little brother’s game
Scare your sister with a smurf
Nasty little trolls
Blue fur, shirtless, annoying
I hate smurfs! My solution! (at this point I raised a martini glass of blue liquid and drank it)
September 21st – Audience theme: Pickles (Second Place)
There once was a lady from Pickle
Who was known for being quite fickle
Once night on a dare, she let down her hair
And they cut it all off with a sickle.
So, that’s my Slam Poetry Collection. Do you think I have a future as a poet?